sassybabushka:

My friend knows someone who keeps all her money in a  hollow dildo. If you don’t think that’s genius, just imagine a robber stealing from a teenage girl’s room. Is he going to look in the dildo? Is he even going to want to touch the dildo?? No. A hollow dildo is safer than any safe or lock. 

Be safe, kids. Keep your money in a dildo.

80,570 notes

allinom:

I’m all about unforgiving and hating and holding grudges because it keeps me safe and mentally healthy and I don’t care about your stupid feel-good quotes about forgiving everyone everywhere always so you can take your feel-good emotionally manipulative apologist bullshit and shove it 

56,372 notes

fluerly:

im actually really afraid that no one will fall in love with me

230,953 notes

saddeer:

I’m fun to flirt with but not to date because I’m a psychopath

60,366 notes